


self destruct

by rubyisms



Series: if i killed someone for you [2]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:35:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25083232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubyisms/pseuds/rubyisms
Summary: Maybe that’s all he’s been doing ever since Yusuke left. Spiraling out of control, recklessly taking lives of shadows in the metaverse in an attempt to feel something again. It’s a path to self destruction, that’s what Robin warns. Maybe that’s what Akechi deserves.Maybe it would be better for the world if Goro Akechi destroyed himself so violently.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kitagawa Yusuke, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: if i killed someone for you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816624
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	self destruct

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of a series and while it could be read standalone, things make a lot more sense if you read the first part.
> 
> Also hi, help, I can't stop thinking of this au.
> 
> edit 7/8/2020: SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME I LEFT OUT THE TAG FOR AKECHI/YUSUKE OR WAS I GOING TO HAVE TO FIND OUT ON MY OWN.

Akechi had threatened Yusuke’s life the last time they met. How the next time they would meet, he wouldn’t be merciful. Unfortunately, Shido had ordered him to behave when he infiltrated the Thieves, and that had meant not fulfilling his threat to his former partner.

As the Phantom Thieves, and their ‘ally’, made their way through the casino, Akechi found himself fantasizing all of the ways he could make Yusuke suffer for his betrayal instead. Perhaps he’ll drag Akira’s own dagger across his throat. Maybe he’ll bash Ryuji’s head in with that sorry excuse of a weapon he carries around on his shoulder. He could take Ann’s whip and strangle her with it, or pummel Makoto’s face in until nothing was recognizable.

He’d kill Haru with her own weapon, but the idea of shooting her down like he did her own father made the assassin shudder eagerly at the mere thought. He’d save Yusuke for last, let him see the consequences for his actions. His choice. Whatever bit of control Yusuke had when he made that choice, Akechi wanted to destroy it and watch him spiral out of control.

Maybe that’s all he’s been doing ever since Yusuke left. Spiraling out of control, recklessly taking lives of shadows in the Metaverse in an attempt to feel something again. It’s a path to self destruction, that’s what Robin warns. Maybe that’s what Akechi deserves.

Maybe it would be better for the world if Goro Akechi destroyed himself so violently.

“Crow.” Joker’s voice snaps the man from his thoughts. He’s aware of Yusuke’s eyes watching him carefully, suspiciously. “Don’t get left behind.”   
  
‘Don’t get left behind.’ Loki mocks inwardly. Akechi snorts softly at his Persona’s mockery, before faking a smile to the supposed leader. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Joker.” The tone is sweet as honey, and the leader of the Phantom Thieves presses on. The others follow, and so does he, bringing up the rear. They all talk among themselves, but he doesn't pay any attention to the conversations. He’s only focused on his own thoughts, as bitter and vengeful as they might be.

The palace was fairly linear, save for Sae-san’s shadow constantly appearing to taunt them and the few bumps in the road here and there. Personally, he would’ve cut her down by now, but he had to be a ‘good boy’ on Shido’s orders. Which meant playing nicely and by the Phantom Thieves damn rules. The things he did to stay in Shido’s good graces to bring the man’s downfall made him question what little sanity he had left.

If it wasn’t for Robin Hood’s presence, Akechi would’ve thought he had gone insane a long time ago.

His footsteps pause. The other thieves are missing and he narrows his eyes. Damn it. That’s what he gets for plotting his revenge like this. There’s a sound of a struggle nearby and he’s quick to head that way. Perhaps they had just rushed ahead into yet  _ another _ fight. When Akechi turns the corner, he stills. It’s Yusuke, taking on a Shadow all by himself, and he seems to be losing. Goemon struggles to keep up with the brutal attacks, and Yusuke himself ends up knocked to the ground a few times. 

He looks at Akechi. Their eyes meet under their masks. He could leave Yusuke here to die at the hands of this Shadow and no one would ever know. Then he could take care of the rest. Akechi moves to take a step back, intent on leaving him behind and Yusuke’s eyes go wider under the mask, the tired and pitiful emotion he once held now becoming hurt.

No. He couldn’t let Yusuke die like this. He had to make him suffer. With a growl, Akechi darts forward, sweeping the Shadow’s feet out from underneath it and cutting it down swiftly with a single swing of his blade. “Get up.” He growls at Yusuke, offering a hand.   
  
The kitsune masked teenager doesn’t hesitate to take it, a hand pressed to his side. “The others… we all got separated and the Shadows ambushed.” He tries to explain, but he barely acknowledges him. That explains where everyone went then.   
  
“Come on.” He hisses, dragging him over to a door. It’s a small storage closet, and the space is tight and cramped. It’s still better than nothing and Akechi drags Yusuke in, shutting the door behind them. What little light in the closet filters through the cracks in the doorway, the only sound being Yusuke’s heavy and harsh breathing. Clearly, the hand to his side wasn’t just for show.

After what felt like hours of tense silence, Yusuke is the first to break it. “Why are you here?”   
  
Akechi snorts, rolling his eyes. How dense was this boy? First, he worked alongside him and Shido for months, now he has the audacity to play dumb? He was an idiot for thinking someone like him could even be a decent partner in crime.

“You know why.” He says smugly, a smirk on his face. Yusuke’s face twists into something that he thinks is dissatisfaction, but he’s not exactly one hundred percent sure. The mask on his face is moved up to his hair, Yusuke’s entire face now in full view and it’s easier to read his emotions this way.

Akechi does the same. He might as well. There was no point in having a mask around Yusuke like this. After all, he knew Goro’s true side and motives. The silence between the two of them remains tense and thick, before Yusuke exhales.   
  
“So, you’re still going through with your plan for revenge.”

“Of course I am.” He snaps, his back hitting the closet door in the tight space. “Did you really think I’d give up my plans because you decided to leave me?”

“I didn’t say that.”    
  
“You were implying it.”   
  
Yusuke huffs and glances away with his eyes narrowing. Something angry and dark bubbles in his chest and Goro curses the cramped space. He wants nothing more than to wrap his fingers around Yusuke’s throat and squeeze until he stops fighting. They itch with the desire and urge to do that, and instead he shoves them down to his sides, idly playing with his gloves.

“You’re so difficult.”

“And yet you put up with me for so long.” He replies, smug. “Guess you got tired of me being so difficult since you went with people who are  _ so  _ perfect in  _ every _ way, right?”

“You’re still redeemable, Akechi-senpai.” Yusuke speaks, his voice soft. “If I could do it, so can you. They’ll understand.”   
  
“Maybe I don’t want to be redeemed!” Goro snaps, the tone getting Yusuke to flinch and shrink away from him. “What, do you really think your  _ precious _ little friends are going to take the person who killed two of their members’ parents in with open arms?! ‘Oh, welcome to the Phantom Thieves! Have a gift basket and a pat on the back! It’s okay you tried to kill us! We’ll forgive you!’”

Yusuke doesn’t respond, but he can see the frown on his face. Goro takes a moment to catch his breath, trying to think of ways he could dig under Yusuke’s skin, when it hits him. With a smirk, Goro continues, his tone now far more casual. “Hey, be honest with me. Does Akira fuck you?”

“W-what?!” He looks back at Goro, his tone scandalized and his face flushed. “That’s preposterous!” The artist takes a moment to compose himself from Goro’s rather… unexpected question.   
  
“He’s dating Ryuji, you know.”   
  
Oh. Well, he didn’t see that coming. 

The thought of Akira even being with Yusuke, even if he just said it to try and provoke him, leaves something that Goro dares to call jealousy bubbling in his chest. Even if they were on different sides now, some part of him still saw Yusuke as his.

“... Good.” Goro snarls out before gripping Yusuke’s collar and yanking him down into a kiss. It’s aggressive and fueled by anger, hate, betrayal, sorrow, and every emotion Goro has felt every since that night in the alleyway. Yusuke yelps in protest and tries to push Goro off.

That’s one thing Yusuke always lacked against Goro. He may be taller, but Goro was stronger and he holds them firmly in place, pushing him back into the wall. The hands on his shoulders weakly keep trying to fight him off until they gradually stop. He can feel Yusuke giving in at last, kissing him back just as fiercely, his own hands coming to grip Goro’s shoulders as Goro moves his down to Yusuke’s hips.

The emotion Yusuke pours into it is passionate in its own way, but Goro refuses to let it overpower him or overwhelm the anger he feels from everything Yusuke has done. Yusuke was a traitor, Yusuke made his choice, and Goro wanted to make him feel that pain. The hands on his hips grip tight enough to leave bruises around the time they break for air. Goro barely gives Yusuke a chance to collect himself or his thoughts before going right back in, pushing inward with enough force to leave Yusuke’s head being knocked back into the wall. It’s hard to mistake the yelp that comes from that.

“You’re hurting me…” Yusuke whimpers out in between the rough and bruising kisses to his lips. Good, part of him snarls inwardly. Now he understood exactly what Goro had felt that night he chose the Phantom Thieves over him. A hand leaves his hips and goes to his hair, pulling hard. Another yelp escapes from Yusuke and it’s like music to Goro’s ears.

“That’s the plan.” He snarls. Once more, he’s being fought off, but a swift bite to Yusuke’s mouth gets the younger male to stop, crying out in pain once more. In between the biting to his mouth, the brutal treatment to his head and hair and Goro’s overall grip, it must be an overstimulating experience, one Goro hopes is negative.

Then the unmistakable taste of something metallic and coppery finds its way to his tongue, and Goro stiffens. A voice in him, perhaps Robin Hood, yells at him to stop and he obeys. In the dim closet, he can take in the sight of Yusuke, who is disheveled with tears in the corner of his eyes. On his bottom lower lip, Goro can see where he bit down, the blood dribbling down from the force it took to injure.

He has had plenty of Shadows beg for mercy in Mementos before. He put a bullet through Okumura’s skull with sadistic glee, and every time he watched a Shadow fall under his blade, he felt more alive than he'd ever felt before. So why did he now feel something like guilt settle in the pit of his stomach? Yusuke was as good as dead to him. He didn’t feel any sympathy for him. He wanted to paint the streets red with his blood and personally rip his still beating heart from his chest.

So why…

“They’re just in there, Joker!” Oracle’s voice chirps out from outside the door. Goro panics. If they see Yusuke like this, his blood still on his lip, they would know something was up for sure. There was barely enough time to think of a plan, but he didn’t have to.

Yusuke presses something soft and white to his mouth, wiping off his own blood before pressing it into Goro’s hand and guiding that hand to his mouth. The door opens without a moment to spare and Goro’s mouth goes dry.

“Fox!” Panther pushes forward, “Oh my gosh, are you okay? What happened?”

Joker shoots a glare at Goro, and the man barely glances over. Yusuke manages a weak chuckle. “Crow dragged me here after I barely managed to hold off a Shadow. Forgive me if I look worse than I feel. I’m thankful he found me though.”

That was a lie. Yusuke lied. Why did Yusuke lie? Why didn’t he just out Goro and his plan to kill them all right now? What was he playing at? What kind of game was this?

“As am I.” Goro easily fakes a smile as Panther takes him out of the closet. Goro pockets the cloth, what he now recognizes is a handkerchief, before following them to a safe room, his mask going back to his face. After the team being separated, Joker decides it’s a good time to call it a night, and frankly, Akechi agrees. He has so many questions about what Yusuke had done and why, and he didn’t want to look him in the eye as he tried to think of those answers.

His body is heavy with exhaustion by the time he finally gets home, a confusion swirl of emotions swimming around in his head, each one more puzzling than the last. Akechi opts to ignore it and head straight to bed. The temptation to ask Yusuke why he had done  _ that  _ grows as he checks his phone one last time before turning over on his side. Sleep comes easy, but it isn’t peaceful.

It never has been.

* * *

A week later, Akechi walks out of the interrogation room where Akira laid with his bloody head on a table and a gun in the other hand. The silencer tucked away in his jacket is heavy, just like the burden on his shoulders. The phone comes out of his pocket like clockwork. His eyes stare at the screen for a few minutes, his thumb idly tapping away before he’s ready to call Shido.

Somewhere else in Tokyo, Yusuke’s phone dings with a new message notification.

**[ Goro Akechi: ]**

_ Still think I can be redeemed? _

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are love!


End file.
